Here's our story:
Our littlest monster hasn't slept through the night since Christmas of last year. Her daddy and I went on a vacation in January, and ever since we returned home, other than a few freak instances, she hasn't slept through the night for us! And, we are talking newborn style. Waking up 2,3 sometimes 4 times per night. My husband and I were barely making it by. I can't even explain how tired we were. We both work shift work...and, I am extremely pregnant. NOT a good mix!
So, one day while perusing Facebook, I came across a post from a tired mommy in a mommy group, whose 18 (ish) month old daughter wasn't sleeping. She too was pregnant. And exhausted. So many mom's were offering advice (the same advice friends and family had given to me as well...which, none of it worked). I simply reached out to her as another sleep deprived mom, telling her that I would add her and her daughter to our nightly prayers. And, she thanked me. And, I responded once more telling her that there is no simple answer. There is no miracle way. This was our third child and we couldn't get it right. What worked for my first daughter, never worked with the second. And what worked with my second daughter, and my first daughter...and all of the children whose parents offered advice, wasn't working for my third daughter either. Every child is different. And I wished her the best.
Then, someone linked a Sleep Doula. Yes. A Sleep Doula. I remember clicking on the link. At first I was skeptical, because she didn't have a ton of "likes" on her page. (Since when did we start judging the quality of something by the amount of "likes" a page on facebook has? I mean, comon. And, coming from a birth photographer with a smaller amount of likes...when did I let "likes" determine what I thought? Anyhow...) I read the few reviews she had, and thought, what the heck, I am contacting this lady!
So, I did. Without even telling the hubby what I was up to. Immediately I fell in love with her. She was sweet, nonjudgmental (because at our weakest, we started bringing the monster to bed with us, which, we both knew was a no-no), and she was very optimistic that we could get her sleeping in a short amount of time!
I told my husband after I set up the in home consultation, and he too was a little skeptical. I mean, a doula is one thing, a sleep doula though? I totally understood where he was coming from. And with us adding another human to our troop, money was a touchy subject. But, I told him that if we could get Gracie to sleep through the night before we added said human to our troop, it would be worth any amount of money! Right?
Anyhow, Deb, the Sleep Doula came to our home. She met Gracie (the sleep terrorist) and we talked about all the bad habits we had set into place (just trying to get an ounce of sleep here and there). Again. Deb was sweet, non-judgemental and very knowledgeable on MANY different sleep training techniques. She asked us a trillion and one questions and then formulated a sleep training schedule specifically for us based on how we parented. And then she gave us the green light to continue our bad habits until the weekend which is when we had agreed to start sleep training.
The next couple of nights were slightly difficult. We were lusting after sleep, seeing that it was on the horizon, but we still had the sleep terrorist destroying our beauty sleep. The last two nights we completely threw our hands in the air and let her sleep with us. Right smack dab in the middle. I did mention that I am extremely pregnant right? So, four humans and a fur baby on one bed! I am not sure if we actually got any sleep those two nights, but Gracie slept better...
The first night of sleep training wasn't terrible. We were expecting the worst. Brody (being the dad and NOT the emotional, extremely pregnant mom) sat in her room with her. Listening to her plead for him to hold her was rough. Luckily tho, Deb was texting me the entire time! Reassuring me and giving us her upmost support (which is ultimately what got us through this whole sleep training thing). It took a total of about 40 minutes and Gracie was ASLEEP! In her own room. In her own bed! And we celebrated! With ice-cream!
Daddy did the second night as well. It resembled the first night almost identically. But, we both knew what to expect so it didn't hurt the heart nearly as much.
The third night was all mommy. And, mommy was uncomfortable. Sitting in a chair with a watermelon child in your lap, not the most enjoyable. And, Gracie, being the smart cookie that she is, was trying to use that to her advantage. Oh man. The third night was one of the roughest nights. But. We got through it. It took longer than Daddy's previous two nights...but, we did it!
The fourth night was again me. And, we moved on to Phase Two. I was dreading it all day long. (oh, the third and fourth and fifth and sixth and seventh days for naptimes were also all mommy...I wanted to burn that chair!) But, I armed myself with my phone (so Deb could encourage me) and my iPod (so I could listen to some sweet tunes and not focus on what Gracie was requesting). We got through it.
The fifth night went by and each night was getting easier. So, we decided it was time to fast forward to the fourth and final phase.
The sixth night came. Gracie went down like a champ. We thought we had succeeded!.... And then...she woke up. And screamed. And fought to stay awake. (this girl is very stubborn by the way) She woke up a second time. And a third time. The fourth time was the hardest. She was putting up quite the fight. Brody, at his exhaustion limit, crawled into her big girl bed, and went to sleep. She was VERY happy that he did. And, they had a little slumber party and both of them slept in til 9!
When Deb checked in with me that morning...I was nervous to tell her. And she was quick to say..."We are having a conversation!" So, we Facetimed her (she was in California at the time visiting her grandmother) and she whipped us back into shape reminding us that all the hard work WOULD pay off! So, we agreed to press forward without taking any steps back!
The seventh night was BY FAR the hardest. We are talking...TWO HOURS!! And, it was also the night that mostly resembled the Cry It Out technique (which we were opposed to). It was rough. It was draining. And I am SO thankful that Brody had to stick that one out. I would have never made it out alive...I don't think that chair would have either!
The eighth night was again up to Mommy. After sitting in my room the night before listening to the my baby ask for me and her Daddy...my momma's heart was once again dreading bedtime. I knew I couldn't sit in the chair. I knew that was an impossibility. So, we altered the technique slightly (to get rid of the chair and give me the freedom to be able to move around). And, it worked! IT WORKED! Yes, there were a few tears. Yes. There may have been a melt down. But within 20 minutes, Gracie was asleep! And, I was left thinking...Did that REALLY just happen? And the best part...she STAYED asleep ALL NIGHT LONG! That was the first night that she had slept all night long! I woke up thinking, did I miss something? I even asked Daddy...did Gracie wake up? And he gladly said NO!
The ninth night came, and went. She was asleep in under 10 minutes. And she slept through the night...AGAIN!
The tenth night, she asked to go to sleep! Yes. She asked to go night-nights! And she giggled when she turned on her sound machine and humidifier! She was excited to go to bed! And, yes. She slept ALL night long!
And. The eleventh night. She asked to go night-nights again!
What just happened?
My sleep terrorist...IS SLEEPING!! SHE IS SLEEPING!! OH. MY. GOSH!
And, can I tell you...our whole world has changed. My lil Gracie is no longer a monster. She hasn't bitten her sisters or pulled their hair in days. And, she no longer screams for the entire car ride. Yesterday, her and I did HOURS of errands (which would normally make a normal person question their sanity with all the screaming that goes on in the van), and she was the sweetest thing. Singing and talking and snuggling her little bear.
AND. Mom and Dad get to sleep too! BONUS! Who knew how much better you could feel if you just got a few nights of decent sleep? If I wasn't extremely pregnant, I would feel like a new woman. But. Going to the bathroom 37 times per night is rather exhausting. But, if I wasn't as big as a house, I would be doing a victory dance. Because, while going potty is exhausting, NOT dealing with a sleep terrorist is heavenly!
So, the moral of my story is...SLEEP DOULAS...especially MY Sleep Doula...are HEAVEN SENT! If you are struggling with a sleep terrorist, I HIGHLY recommend you seek the assistance of a Sleep Doula. Talking to doctors and specialists is one thing...but having the support of someone who is there for you continuously throughout the sleep training process, is PRICELESS!
{If you are local to the Pacific Northwest, I highly recommend you look up Deb, The Sleep Doula (just click on that link!) for an in home consultation if you are struggling with a sleep terrorist of your own! If you are not local, that is okay too because she will work with you via Skype or FaceTime! You can find her on Facebook too {again, just click the link (Facebook)}!
****UPDATE****
If I haven't raved enough…HIRING A SLEEP DOULA IS WORTH IT!! As I type this out today, December 30th (nearly 4 months later), Gracie has slept through the night nearly every single night since we succeeded with sleep training (the only time I recall her giving us grief was when we stayed the weekend at grandma & grandpa's house)! Here's the deal. A Sleep Doula's worth is in her knowledge (because she has studied and seen results from several different techniques) no doubt. But where I found the value, was in the support she gave me. There is NO WAY we would have succeeded without her support. Her support was very genuine and caring, but she also put her foot down when we started slacking (read: slumber party)! Overall, she wanted us to succeed just as much as we wanted to succeed! And, WE DID!!
(photography by me, KaetheJo Binder Photography. This photo was taken prior to our Sleep Training Success as it is in our bed, but I love how sweet and beautiful she looks sleeping! Which is a VERY COMMON sight in her own bed now thanks to our Sleep Doula!)
